My mood has improved dramatically……there are potentially 4 major reasons for this:
1) I am back in the gym, spinning on Tuesday and then a quick workout Wednesday before the game. I didn’t really push myself to the max in either workout but heh, baby steps, baby steps it is good to get the muscles working again.
2) Dinner with Amy and Will after spinning……my conversation skills are back although I feel as though I talked a little too much but it’s always good to engage in entertaining conversation, the number of dating stories I now have is crazy although I will be glad when my dating days are over. As more time passes it is becoming clear that the guy who ends up with Amy is extremely lucky as she has pretty much the whole package.
3) My new couch cover has arrived and it is Raptor red…….I love it, love it so much in fact that it is now my Facebook profile picture. When my remaining art arrives, the mini makeover of my apartment will be finished.
4) The NBA is back, and so are the Raptors sometimes you win playing well, sometimes you win ugly tonight it was a little bit of both….up by 20 a small choke job in the middle and then eventually a comfortable 10 point win. The team has so much potential it is crazy…..the Nets on Friday bring it on.
On a side note I am finally in possession of the list, for those unfamiliar this is a list of “date” restaurants provided by Nancy the self proclaimed “social butterfly”…..I will start to use it in the near future.
Mood Rating for the day 8 out of 10.
October 31, 2007
What is going on in life at the moment…….my thoughts are all over the place I am struggling to concentrate and it is fair to say my motivation is pretty much through the floor. There is no reason for me to be this downbeat, I have a pretty good life in Canada and don’t really want for anything….yet something is missing there is no purpose to life at the moment and I simply appear to be stumbling from one day to the next. Maybe I need to refocus on squash and set myself some goals…….I am currently lost in the wilderness of life.
October 29, 2007
Met up with Garry for lunch and a welcome return to Sneeky Dees……it must be 3 or 4 months since I had one of the finest Omelets I’ve ever tasted mixed things up a little today with the classic chilli and cheese combination, it was great as always.
Garry’s party sounds like a riot about 40 people by all accounts all with “hats” to mark the Mad Hatter tea party……..still no exercise for me today but I did get through a pile of ironing well half of it…..I’m taking a little break to write this. The Patriots are simply crushing the Redskins in the NFL at the moment next week is the big one against the Colts should be a dandy as the North American’s say.
Baseball should end today with Boston looking to sweep Colorado…….it’s amazing how my view of this particular game has changed since I’ve lived over here, when I first arrived I thought it was the most boring game on earth but now I can live with it.
Haven’t heard from Teresa today so have yet to get a first hand account of how Ellen’s Halloween party went down but will no doubt find out about it over the next few days.
Given how depressing my first few blog posts have been I’ve decided to add a happiness rating to each day, nothing scientific just a score between 1 and 10 with 10 being ecstatic and 1 being suicidal. Rating for today 4.
October 28, 2007
Not much going on today I feel completely exhausted. I’m stood up at squash in the morning and can’t even be bothered to work out my own. I plan on having a power nap before the Halloween party so retire around 8pm……wake up and it’s now 3am so much for the power nap. There’s a message from Teresa on my phone sounds like her party was a total dud as she was asking for directions to Garry………..I need to get out of this tired state, hopefully the new basketball season (starting Wednesday) will help pick me up.
For anyone who likes movie, Michael Clayton would be the Brits movie recommendation of the week.
October 28, 2007
Finally the pre-season is over………the Raptors are looking good and based on the crowd that showed up for tonights crushing of Washington the place will be jumping come opening night on Wednesday….I’ve decided to give Eva both tickets to the Phoenix game hopefully she’ll accept them and will also give a pair of tickets to Teressa’s brother for his birthday……although I’m not sure she’ll accept them either.
This Friday is certainly a lot different to the trials and tribulations of last Friday night, I’m pretty sure I will sleep a lot better in my bed knowing I’ll be the only person in it. Finally made it back to the gym after a week away…..chest and shoulders……at the moment I feel fine but no doubt I will ache in the morning.
Tomorrow is the Halloween parties should I choose Terresa/Ellen/Nancy or Garry and the infamous Mad Hatter Tea Party, given how I feel at the moment there’s a good chance it will be neither and I’ll end up watching the world series instead. What a bizarre week it’s been…….hopefully next week will be a little less stressful.
October 26, 2007
So another day has passed, I feel as if my life is heading nowhere……I’m not sure how I got into this state but certainly at the moment I write this I’m not entirely sure as to my purpose on the planet. Work is out of control, I am not sure if I need a change but all the days appear pretty much the same…….maybe I need a change a new company, it has been 6 years now after all.
I haven’t been to the gym in a week, but will start back up on Friday hopefully that will help boost my energy somewhat we’ll wait and see. What should I do with Grace her English is not good and everyone knows how much I like to chat so I doubt it would work out, but I’ll guess I’ll meet her at some stage. I’ll probably wait to see if she contacts me again, if she does fine, if she doesn’t then that’s fine as well……she hasn’t exactly set my heart alight it’s fair to say.
Got an email from Joanne today, she was one of the very first people I met when I moved to Canada she is now not only married but with a child as well……everyone is married Rob is about to have his two year aniversery and Ian and Nimisha (also old uni friends) are still going strong with a couple of kids of their own. I am certainly now ready to meet someone………..
October 25, 2007
Annie Lennox was an interesting experience to say the least and if I didn’t feel old before I certainly do today. The crowd to my surprise appeared to have no knowledge of the Eurythmics and with the exception of “Sweet Dreams” didn’t appear to know the words to any of the songs. Maybe it’s because I grew up in Britain where the band was massive in 80’s that I knew the words but regardless as to the crowd the performance and overall concert was great.
I feel exceptionally tired today not sure why, I wouldn’t even describe it as tired more like beaten down by life and my mood swings from one moment to the next, hopefully I’ll snap out of the funk soon. My thoughts today have been occupied by a Tarot Card reader my mother took me to shortly before my move to Canada 6 years ago…..virtually everything I was told has come true…….I would be living in a large city, I would be relatively successful in the activities I undertake, I would on the whole be happy.
I would also meet someone (A blonde……..so much for me going after Asian women) and I would be married within 18 months of meeting her. Will this happen maybe, maybe not……….I guess we will wait and see.
The World Series starts today, well if you can call it that given only North American teams are allowed to complete…….I guess I’ll give Teresa and Grace a call also. Grace appears very nervous from her email communications that her English is not too good but I’ll give it a fighting chance……..I’ve spoken to people with perfect English before and it has been a total disaster and I’m certainly sure her English is better than my Cantonese. Apparently China launched its first Lunar Orbiter today…..you learn something new everyday.
October 24, 2007
Today is my birthday, I turn 34 years of age. Am I happy…..a little…..am I sad……a little.
I have hit my mid 30’s and whilst life is generally going well, the quest for the right girl continues, hopefully it will end this year. Phone calls from the usual people my mum, my sister…….emails from everyone else and even a text from Teressa. I am not sure how things will turn out with her we’ll wait and see although I know the birthday cake she made me was fantastic. The people at work who saw her picture agree she is exeptionally pretty but they also agree that I did the right thing on the weekend. I am still not fully over Eva……and I dread November 22nd as that for sure will be a difficult day but hopefully it will also allow me to move on.
Garry will be round soon and then it’s off to see Annie Lennox at Massey Hall hopefully it should be a great show. I snuck off work early today 4pm, but it is my birthday after all so why not….the people at work got me a great card, I am yet to open the gift but know that it is a mini basketball set…….hopefully the Raptors…..and now Eva pops into my head again.
I missed spinning today….and specifically the instructor she always brings a smile to my face with her boundless energy.As for dating I turned down the opportunity to join “Perfect Partners”……….how many agencies can one person be a member of, although they did say they would put me in the database as I interviewed well………
I’ll post the review of Annie tomorrow.
October 23, 2007
How long does it take to become attached to someone else, how quickly do you bounce back when disappointment presents itself, do you get up brush yourself down and return to the battle, or simply allow a certain sadness to descend over you whilst you wallow in self pitty. Sadly I feel as though I fall into the later as regardless as to the people I’ve met or the situations I’ve been in my thoughts have always drifted back to Ella and what might have been.
As with all things in life there is usually a silver lining to the cloud although sometimes it is difficult to see if Ella had never occurred neither would the dinner and I would simply have never met the people described in this particular anecdote although as the title of this post suggests I believe this particular chapter of life has now also drawn to a close.
In the 6 weeks that had passed since I first met Alison we had been out a total of 3 times each time had become more relaxed and enjoyable than the previous meeting but the chemistry of the initial dinner party had never been recreated and it was no wonder her interest had wavered significantly. Contrast this with Brett and Eva who appear to have experienced enough ups and downs in a 6 week period to last someone of my still fragile state at least a year.
The destination on this particular Friday night, was a house in North York……Eva had graciously agreed to cook an early Thanksgiving meal and given the limited opportunities I now have to sample home cooking I jumped at the opportunity to feast and hopefully regain some of my lost pounds.
Riding up on the subway with Brett we discussed the events of the last few weeks and I’m sure I wasn’t the only person wondering how this particular event would unfold; armed with a bottle wine we approached the house where literally the smells of the great cooking inside had drifted down the driveway. As we went inside it became apparent that Eva is both house proud and has a variety of dresses for every occasion, I have only met this girl a few of times but on each and everyone of those occasions she has worn a beautiful dress and tonight was no exception.
I left Brett and Eva to catch up whilst I pretty much collapsed on the couch and attempted to be as little hindrance to the cooks who were now busy at work, really I should have offered to help but in all honesty I am terrible in the kitchen although in retrospect whilst there is never a good time to un-intentionally poison someone I guess it is better to do it in someone else’s home rather than you own. A short period of time later Alison arrived, I had never seen this girl in jeans before and they say you can tell a lot about someone by how they look in jeans, if this particular rule is true then Alison is quite the girl because on this particular night it certainly was quite the sight…..I was happy and sad both at the same time.
A three way conversation then proceeded to take place whilst I continued to mellow in my own little world hoping to regain both my spark and my energy as the evening progressed. It did not take long as when dinner was served it was simply amazing, I am not sure how much Turkey I ate that evening but it was a lot and hopefully this will be the first step on my road to recovery. (After all I need to build up my muscle to increase my “Hot or Not” rating). In addition to the Turkey there were plenty of veggies available including my personal favorite asparagus……asparagus always makes me laugh mainly because the line “Will someone pass me the asparagus” followed by the image of Lester Burnham smashing a plate full against the dinning room wall always springs to mind (For those unfamiliar watch the movie American Beauty)……anyway I digress but by now it is clear that a mathematical equation is at work, the amount of food in my stomach is directly proportional to the amount of words coming from my mouth.
Needless to say the more I talk, the lower the tone of the overall conversation becomes, and following a few bizarre twists and turns myself and Brett are eventually cornered in rating ourselves on a looks basis……it becomes apparent that Brett is pretty pleased with the hand he has been dealt and I think he rates himself an 8, I am surprised, it is not that Brett is not a relatively handsome guy it’s more that if I was a gay I’d be confident of landing a Brett. Am I confident of landing a women who scores an 8 to be honest the answer would be no, I give myself a 6.5 although this is boosted by my physique and lets be honest if it’s already at a stage where a women can see your overall physique it’s pretty much “Showtime” and certainly to this point in life no one has ever complained or asked for their money back once the show was about to begin.
What happens next is a moment I will never forget, I experience………wait for it, wait for it……..my first ever Chocolate Molten Lava Cake, in your life you will never taste anything so good, top it off with some Hagan Dass ice cream and quite simply it is better than sex, well better than bad sex……..some people say there is no such thing as bad sex that is simply not true but sadly I can’t post on the subject as I would lose my “Suitable for All” blog rating.
As is tradition I finish a meal with “Tea” ahh…..very British………being British I have drunk a lot of Tea although never before have I drunk tea that has been poured from a porcelain dinosaur, it is quaint but the tea tastes great all the same.
It soon becomes time to head home and I thank my gracious host for providing both a wonderful meal and setting to enjoy it within. Riding back to the city a little sadness comes over me, I fear this is the last time we will meet as a group, whilst the evening is undoubtedly a success the chemistry we shared at our first ever meeting appears to have been lost.
What have I learned from meeting, Brett, Eva, and Alison over the last few weeks a number of things I would say, firstly good people can enter your life at any point in time and when they do you should take the time to embrace them and see what develops. Secondly I am emotionally weak, my thoughts and happiness/depression balance appears to go up and down like a yo-yo it affects my work, my health and more importantly leads to lack of interest in some of things I typically enjoy. Thirdly the “right” person is like lightening in a bottle, they will come into your life very quickly and unless you are quick to both assess and act upon the situation they can be gone just as quickly…..leaving you with nothing but regret.
Looking back this has turned into a fairly “sad” post but hopefully none of the people involved will see it as a reflection on them, far from it in fact, without them things could have been worse, I will await the day when complete happiness returns to my life hopefully it will be soon.
The quest continues………….
October 7, 2007
There are numerous places where two people can come together, a bar, a club, the office, but none of these environments can match the electricity that is invariably in the air at a wedding. With the exception of the married guests, a wedding is typically a melting pot of either unmarried couples or single guests who for at least this particular day start to dream of a wedding day of their own…….it is indeed the richest of environments. Welcome to Jelana……..
I had been living in Canada for almost 5 years and was still to make a return trip to my former homeland, this was in no way a negative reflection on Britain but more a positive reflection on the country I now regard as home. It would take a strong reason to persuade me to fly back, and there aren’t many much stronger than an invitation to be the best man at my best university friend’s wedding………the wedding was set, my flights home were set and in order to fully prepare myself “dance lessons” had be taken…..dance lessons you ask, yes dance lessons, waltz, salsa and foxtrot to be precise and an inspired purchase they proved to be.
There was only one small snag just a couple of weeks before the wedding I had been fired (well not fired, “restructured out of my position”) so my glorious return trip had been shortened considerably to just 3 days. I knew I would be tired, I knew I would be exhausted but hopefully the adrenalin would keep me honest.
I arrived in Manchester and was soon in Hull where the festivities would take place; the stag party consisted of just a few drinks in a bar and a meal, but was enjoyable none the less and soon the wedding day arrived. Everything ran smoothly the knot was tied; the ball and chain attached, and the speeches and formal meal were all top notch. Whilst the bride and groom disappeared to a hotel to “consummate” the marriage, I retired for a power map in preparation for the evening party.
The party started, and whilst slowly at first the more people drank the greater the likelihood that they would venture onto the dance floor, as a non drinking observer the amount of guys who flat out refuse to go out for spin around the floor is unbelievable. In my opinion there are few things sexier on this earth than watching the girl you love dance, so armed with my newly acquired dance skills and the fact that no other guy was making a move I entered the fray.
Married, Unmarried, Old, Young…….I didn’t care I must have danced with at least 20 different women that night all the time looking over to the sidelines at my fellow males and thinking what is wrong with you people. As the evening progressed I started to focus in on Jelana, maybe it was the way she moved, maybe it was her Eastern European accent or maybe it was the fact she wore fishnets……..I will suggest the later. Regardless we danced pretty much the rest of the night and the conversation flowed, it was one of those very rare evenings where quite simply I was “On Fire”. I am not really a one night stand kind of guy, I’ve never had one and don’t intend to……so at the end of the evening retired to bed alone.
But something Jelana said stuck with me “If this party had taken place in Toronto, you wouldn’t have been leaving alone” that statement is probably true although there is no way to know for sure and I am still to experience a Toronto wedding.
The one thing I do know is that it provided me a far greater focus of my own potential wedding, up until the point these events took place I was always in the bachelor for ever category but now I’m not so sure……this event definitely changed me…..hopefully one day I will get to write my final dating blog entry the title of which has already been prepared “My Wedding Day”.
The quest continues…………….
October 7, 2007
